I have been using Instagram and YouTube (as a 'Creator') since 2013 or so, and since after TikTok was banned in India, I started lamenting, cribbing, moaning, and complaining about the discrimination that happened with me.

All of a sudden, something changed, and my REELS blew up on Instagram. These are, I think, a few reasons for that happening. Here are also a few tips that I (would like to) keep in Mind before making content:

Shared Experience, Not Diagnosis
I am a Spiritual and Mental Health Coach, not a Psychologist. Therefore, I believe that I do not have the rights to talk about psychology / pathology / clinical disorders. Forget rights, I don't have that 'technical' knowledge. My knowledge is about the Soul - much deeper, and it is based on my own inner work. Therefore, I mostly talk about 'shared frustration', for example, not 'identity policing'.

By talking about Shared Goals, Shared Struggle, Same (same-sex) Attraction, Same Longing, I try my best to align myself with the audience, not by positioning myself above them.

Strategy Argument. Not Pathologizing Identity
I my Koti Chale REEL, for example, my main hooks / points were:
• You cannot overperform / overact / overdo feminine behavior to attract straight men. That's going to be 100% ineffective.
• Two seconds of validation or curiosity about hetero males does NOT equal to potential for a long-term companionship / relationship IF that's what you want.
• Look towards available Gay Men, if you want something sustainable - and I pointed at myself saying that I have man boobs, I'm balding, and I have latent fat as well which did not position me as superior OR in the 'Instagram-hot' category. The subtle message was, "We're all struggling in this together. So, let's be grounded."
• Femininity wasn't attacked. Misplaced hope / Collective Illusion was.

Outcome-based Talks. Not Identity Assassination
Most of the times, my focus is on practicality, not morality i.e. using validation from straight guys to boost your ego, fantasizing hot, straight males, continuing to delay your partner hunt, keeping yourself busy in frivolous / overly sexual pleasures won't get you anywhere - is my point.

We, Gay Men, are naturally attracted towards Straight Males. We, Gay Men, are already invisible in the broader view of the society. We, Gay Men, are already going through loneliness. And I'm talking about young guys here, not 40+ year-olds! Having unrealistic expectations / criteria makes life worse, not better. Such talks make people seen, not judged. I mean, I try my best to word my talks that way.

Indian Context
In our Indian society, Straight men are still romanticized heavily.Marriage pressure exists, and is real. Partner scarcity feels real (scarcity mindset is at the heart). Social aging (and ageism) anxiety is strong. Social Media can amplify unattainable masculinity ideals in our heads. I try my best to address such anxieties - based on my experience.


Agreement percentage does not prove correctness in clinical terms. It proves emotional resonance with a shared struggle. My focus is on, "Improve your Behavior, if you want to improve the Quality of your Life OR add Happiness to it.", not "This internal belief is a psychological issue." People tolerate being told their strategy is flawed. They resist being told their identity is disordered.

Thu, 16-Apr-2026
🌞 awakenwithsagar