.Easy Life Hacks by Sagar -
Why Finding Love in the Gay World seems difficult

Now, there are no two worlds. Everything is happening within this world only. In fact, you may have heard me saying, "Don't call it GAY LOVE / MARRIAGE. Just call it LOVE / MARRIAGE.", because on one hand when we want to equalize things, we cannot be categorizing things too like a Venn Diagram.

Without beating around the bush, let me directly get to the topic. I think there are three major reasons Why Finding Love in the Gay World seems difficult. The feeling of loneliness aggravates as Rose Day, Teddy Day, Chocolate Day come near. Now, there are many sub-reasons or secondary or tertiary reasons, but here I will talk about the primary reasons only.

REASON # 1: INTERNAL HATRED & JUDGMENT
I don't like the term 'Internal Homophobia', because Straight people also hate each other. They don't call it 'Internal Heterophobia'. Why do we want to SPECIFY it? It's like trying hard to make your mark even there.

You don't need to do too much. Just go to a Gay Party or Gay Tour (or even a House Party). 99% chances are that you will come across guys b*tching and gossiping about each other.

I am personally against gossip of any kind OR even tagging or judging someone as 'Top or Bottom'. To some people it is their life's goal to go around labeling others as this and that. Extremely bad that is.

I have been bullied by some Gay guys at House Parties / Birthday Parties (as a soft target) a couple of times (just recently, like in 2016 and 2018 - when I was 34 and 36, respectively), just because of some conjectures they had about me or just because they wanted someone to crack jokes on to get everyone's attention. I used to laugh it off, but it did make me feel weird and sad. Sad not for myself, but because a GAY guy is saying nasty things to me. Not just that, there's a guy from Pune whose name ends with -SH. He had / has been telling very wrong things about me to others - like, "Sagar was promiscuous!", or "I have slept with Sagar", which is not true at all. He used to do that when I was getting a little clout on TikTok. I ignored all of that, but of course I felt sad. I am also a human being. Making videos on YouTube does not make you invincible. In fact, quite the opposite.

But what is the reason behind this? This is not specific to the LGBT Community. There is only one reason behind it: Sad People Gossip! Period. People are going to hate me for saying that, but just think about it. A happy / successful person never really goes around talking ill about anybody. He's just happy, isn't it?

Specially in the 'Gay World' (a term that I'm only using for better understanding), we (specially the Social Media-addict youngsters) are hyper-sexualized, alcohol-addicted, image-obsessed, and love-deprived. These four factors are definitely a tad bit more amongst us, specially because of the lack of societal acceptance. So, it seems that, "Gays are programmed to gossip", which is also a false perception, but there are real reasons behind it.

So, all that we can do, and need to do - URGENTLY, starting right now [laughs] is STOP Judging and STOP Hating. If you don't like something, just ignore it. Move away from there. Shouldn't be difficult, I think.

REASON # 2: PROMISCUITY / HOOK-UP CULTURE
Ek se pet nahi bharta Culture! I know and I have experienced the pain of being alone, especially during Valentine's Days and Diwalis (and even Christmas and Halloween - I've studied in a Convent School, so I like those celebrations a tad bit more).

But just as the Valentine's Day comes near, why do we go on Grindr and look for someone for a One-Night Stand? Because we have the excuse that 'Gay Love does not exist'. Actually, it does. We are just individually not ready for it and we're blaming it on others ("We" does not include me.)

Basically, if I've to put it in very general terms, there are two types of people. Ones who are looking for Sex, and others who are looing for Love. Yes, an individual keeps switching between the two, but at the core, we take Actions only in one direction. Because Sex is easily available, and portrayed and desensitized in the likes of Ekta Kapoor's shows very casually, we think that it is NECESSARY to indulge into Casual Sex until you find Love. Then why are you finding Love? Keep having Casual Sex. You'll get plenty of it. May be after a point you'll have to pay for it [laughs], but you'll still get it.

It is fine to choose the Path of least resistance towards Happiness, but we need to remember that a Full-time Job is different from a Daily Wage Job. That's the difference between Salary and Wage.

REASON # 3: LACK OF SELF-CLARITY
Till when will you keep blaming it on your "Indian Society" or "Orthodox / Conservative Parents"? There is never going to be one day when all your relatives will form a circle, make you sit in the center and say, "Come on baby, we are ready. Come out of the closet!" You will have to give them the "shocking news" one day. And you need to do that ASAP. I mean, you can come out at 20-25, or after turning into an uncle at 30-35, but you, unnecessarily, end up in wasting your time and age.

Like it happened in my case. Section 377 got dissolved exactly in the year I turned "officially" old i.e. you are young until 35, but the exact year (2018) when I turned old was when that happened. Until then all I was doing with guys was, "Sun Champa, Sun Tara" [laughs]... or so it was assumed.

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