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Social Media
Social Media has changed the face of this earth. Over the last 16+ years now, human beings have totally changed the way they look at life, think about themselves, perceive relationships, define happiness, and most importantly - the way they spend their time.
You don't even need to get out of your dirty bed 😂 to get to know what's happening in another part of the world. Barrage of information that is - oftentimes - totally irrelevant to you can reach you with the blink of an eye 😵
While there seem to be many short-term benefits,
there are more long-term losses.
Losses that can't be seen through the naked eye.
There are Several side-effects / ill-effects of using Social Media, in general. The more Popular an App, the higher chances of you suffering from these effects.
I'm not even sure if I should undermine the word 'Platform' by using it for these companies, because 'Platforms' are fair and equal opportunity for everyone. Think about a railway platform as an analogy. Whether you're a beggar or a millionaire, you're at the same level as each other. These products are anything, but fair.
Part of this text was originally written by me as a Quora Answer to the question: What's the dark side of using tiktok?
Today's youth are sadly glued to TikTok, Instagram, and similar Apps all day and that's not a good habit to have.
This page contains the most updated and detailed content and is reviewed and updated from time to time. It is based on my experiences, research, and the mental impact they've had on me. It is currently Under Review. Not all statements may be 100% accurate at this current point in time.
NOTE: I am NOT against Social Media. I don't want to come across as a Hater, because I have been able to learn and gain a lot from these Tools (perfect word). It would be unfair to criticize them while using them. In fact, using them for some time daily - though not really necessary - can be healthy. These tools have been made BY US and FOR US. They're for fun, and it would be alienating to not use them at all.
Dance ('officially') stormed back into my life at 36
only because of TikTok.
The App enabled me to do so many creative things, and
discover so many sides of me that I was simply unaware of.
However, every coin has two sides. These are PRIVATE COMPANIES ultimately here to make money. In the process, they try to control who all what you share reaches. That's, primarily, what makes them evil 😡 TikTok is the most popular platform (thankfully banned in India since June 2020). Instagram REELS is the new source of garbage (launched in mid-2020 as a substitute for TikTok, probably because TikTok couldn't be locally controlled). WhatsApp is no less than a Social Media "platform". YouTube is possibly the inspiration of them all.
TikTok is the Cancer that has plagued YouTube, Instagram, and all of humanity. You see "For You" pages all over the place now. However, - pretending to be the devil's advocate - TikTok is, at least, doing this (garbage-spreading job) openly. Some other Products are doing the same thing sneakily, which makes them evil. Now, even though I called it a Cancer / Plague, - and I'll talk about WHY, - I learned how unfairly and manipulatively the Social Media works only because of TikTok 😵
These are not false accusations. There are researches that have proven the ill-effects of each and every one of these Products on the Human Mind. I've faced discrimination for being Gay, Old, Talented, and not having connections / contacts (to put it mildly). That has caused me frustration beyond my ability to elucidate. They can provide me data, reach, or analytics to prove that I'm wrong, and I'm sincere / honest enough to admit it here.
These Apps are diminishing our growth as Human Beings by supplying information (often, misinformation) more than we're able to handle. Therefore, unless you "work" with Social Media Applications as your Source of Income (as a Team Member, Chosen Influencer, Moderator, etc.), here are some of the ill-effects that you must keep in Mind (whether you're a so-called Creator or an unfortunate Consumer):
| Histrionic Personality Disorder [...] |
| Fame Lust / External Validation [...] |
| Fake Stardom [...] |
| The Sharing Addiction [...] |
| Kids on Display [...] |
| Emotional Manipulation by Social Media [...] |
| Compulsive Phone Use & Sedentary Behavior [...] |
| Social Comparison [...] |
| Over-consumption of Entertainment [...] |
| Vulgarity By & For the Youth [...] |
| Reduced Focus In / On Life [...] |
| Avoiding Companions / Phubbing [...] |
| Negative, Violent, Harmful Content [...] |
| Unfairness / Discrimination / Bias [...] |
| Sexual Promiscuity among Gay men [...] |
| Constant Exposure to Unsolicited Content [...] |
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Histrionic Personality Disorder
Abbreviated as H.P.D., there are increased chances of an individual (especially a youngster) developing this disorder. Here are a few symptoms:
• Excessive Attention Seeking
• Inappropriately Seductive Behavior
• Low Tolerance to Stress
• Being overly dramatic about petty things
You will see the symptoms of H.P.D. in some of the other ill-effects described below.
Many people get depressed, because of Social Media. And many depressed people go to Social Media to cure it, and get depressed even more 😂
Believe it or not - at 37 - when TikTok started suppressing my videos, I went back 🚶 into my Cave of Self-study and realized that some of these symptoms were hidden inside me as well. That is why, even though I loathe TikTok, it ended up in teaching me a lot about myself, which is why I also am grateful to it.
However, as you observe the youth around, you will see these negative behavioral traits within them. Trying to be Over-the-Top, Desperate WANNABEs, Attention-seeking individuals with almost zero tolerance to randomness, while thinking they're aware of everything in life. 25-year-olds cannot be influencers or life coaches. Period.
📃 There are studies that show correlations between personality and selfie-posting. The correlations were small in 2015 (as per that study), however, times have changed. Demographics and Content Format was different until 2018. Read more here
A New Lawsuit Against Social Media Involves 100 Schools In US. A very good step. Read more here.
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Fame Lust / External Validation
Apps - like TikTok / Instagram (REELS) - subliminally "promise" Quick Fame by intermittently (and manually, as admitted by the products) boosting videos and making them go viral - even if those videos are full of hatred, vulgarity, stupidity, or subtle brainwashing. This, naturally, develops the desire to "get famous" among youngsters... and to do everything possible for that.
While there's nothing wrong with getting popular, the core of the problem is the desire to be validated externally i.e. expecting people (or the App itself) to validate oneself. That is addictive, dangerous, and makes / keeps you unfulfilled from within 😥
Seth Godin has written a wonderful blog post that says, "Social Media is a symptom, not a tactic.", which pretty much sums everything up.
already well-established celebrity),
you can never be "popular" on the Social Media products.
This constant and chronic HOPE that you will get popular one day damages you. In fact, it takes you backwards in life, because, popularity is a side-effect. It is never a tangible Goal that you can write in yout TO DO list. Adam Mosseri (Instagram's CEO) himself once said in one of his AMA Answers, "Reach can't be your Ultimate Goal. It is a means to your Goal." What a wonderful statement.
You need to be working in or at least connected with the entertainment industry to enjoy true popularity. If you're an individual or business whose goal is not popularity, but to make money or provide services, then your goal is not popularity, isn't it? 😊
With that said, there is, no doubt, a lot of favoritism, discrimination, and bias for and against certain people or sections of people, and it is out there for you to see. Some so-called Influencers who are MADE popular are spreading nothing, but misinformation and garbage. User demographics, or even socio-political contexts could be reasons behind that, unfortunately.
50% of India's Population is below the age of 25 (as of 2020), and - on a light note - all of them want to "get popular" (i.e. get validated). Some of them are so desperate that they beg for Likes / Replies in the Comments section.
and Human Insecurity is their raw material.
We need to decide how much of this raw material to provide to them.
❓ Why does "Walking on FeviQuick" or "Couples during their First Time" need to trend on YouTube? I mean, seriously!?
The answer is simple - Demographics of a Country, often reflects on the Social Media, but whether or not it does, the youth's Minds are impressionable / easy to manipulate / easy to confuse, and that's the kind of content that is boosted on these products - under the name of "user preference", just so that they (the apps) keep being opened again and again.
❓ How come, then, so many youngsters have lakhs of followers?
Again, the answer is simple - youngsters have longevity. Those in their 20s or early 30s as of 2023 were born with Mobile Phones, so to speak. They will be heavily using these Apps / Products for a long time, before the popular decline begins. Also, as you mature, you become more self-aware, so the younger the target audience, the better for these products. 95% of the youngsters are kept hooked to the products by making them believe that they're popular, which they are, actually, not. Those are all fake / extrapolated numbers.
Think about it - if ChatGPT can generate realistic Captions and Comments, don't you think these Social Media Apps can generate realistic-looking Users / Comments / Likes internally? I, myself, have created Virtual Machines (VMs) while testing software products. VMs are not real computers. They're (almost fake) computers that give you the illusion of them being real servers or clients.
the more they go away from you!
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Fake Stardom
19-20-year-olds have started falsely believing that they're Influencers / Celebrities / Public Figures. I call this Fake Stardom. Kids who have not even come out of their own shells CANNOT influence others. Let's, momentarily, forget the fact that 70-80% of their Followers / Subscribers are 🤖 Bots. It's no secret.
Getting Popular on an App is NOT Success!
Popularity is NOT Success.
Faking Confidence isn't the same as Being Confident.
You think that you're getting more and more popular, but realize that you're only getting more and more empty from within. From what I understand, you are simply being fooled with all the fake / extrapolated Views / Likes / Followers / Subscribers. A 'Views Count' is first added, and then gradually filled with real ones. Same for Subscribers / Followers. You are just being given the illusion of popularity, but you are not popular among real people. May be among robots. 😂 Anyway, popularity on Social Media isn't the reflection of your real-life popularity, is it?
Here's a FREE Instagram Engagement Rate Calculator: https://hypeauditor.com/free-tools/instagram-engagement-calculator/
Mark my words, none of this is going to last for very long. Bad influencers will expose themselves, and the good ones will last. Unfairness - no matter how powerfully created - cannot last for very long.
YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok ONLY WANT MONEY.
There's nothing wrong with wanting money, but
they DO NOT CARE about you, your mental health,
your growth, content, efforts, or your fame.
What you're getting from them is
just a fraction of what they're getting from you (be it money or data).
So, use them, but be clear about your purpose.
Be slightly detached and keep an emotional distance.
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The Sharing Addiction
It is super easy to CREATE on the Social Media. No wonder there's so much garbage online. Anybody can pick up their smartphone, and record a video / click a photo and share it.
During my childhood, whenever I achieved the First / Second / Third Rank in class (Mathematics being my most favorite subject), we used to share the GREAT NEWS with our family-friends and relatives. And that used to reach out organically to a few more. A total of 10-20 people used to Congratulate me for the achievement - that too over a period of days or weeks. That used to make me HAPPY and FULFILLED. That was ROUSING.
Now, if I can share a similar NEWS Online, and get 500 people to congratulate me - INSTANTLY - irrespective of whether I know those people personally or not - why would I not do that?
These are the times of over-sharing and over-posting. We travel for making vlogs and clicking photos for Instagram and for making REELS at good locations, and that seems to have become our FIRST priority. We need to make it our Last priority.
- what I call - The Sharing Addiction.
Have you caught yourself thinking about Instagram
when you're not using Instagram?
There are two types of people in this world, in my opinion. No, not the ones Addicted, and other who aren't Addicted. Ones who are Addicted, and others who don't use the Social Media at all. There's hardly any User who isn't addicted.
📃 According to a new study by Harvard University, Self-disclosure on social networking sites stimulates the same part of the brain that also gets stimulated when taking an addictive substance or while having sex. So, if you're addicted to the Social Media, you're harming yourself as badly as a drug-addict. In fact, worse, because your addiction is Mental.
Sharing is Good. In fact, we've heard that Sharing is Caring. However, the need to Self-disclose on a constant basis is harmful, especially, because of the "Randomized Virtual Reward" that you are given. This compels you to keep doing that on a repetitive basis, thus, leading to the life of a Social Media Zombie.
even the Thought of going back and posting a Story
made me feel GUILTY & ASHAMED (associated with Relapse).
The general meaning of RELAPSE is a deterioration in health status after an improvement / recovery. In the realm of addiction, relapse has a more specific meaning - a return to substance use after a period of nonuse. You feel GUILTY and ASHAMED when you go back to your addiction. I had the exact same feelings on the 4th Day (after having stayed away for 3 days), which proves that some of these Products are Toxic Addictions! Don't take my word for it. Try it out for yourself.
In any case, we need to remember that we don't need to SHARE as much as we are currently doing.
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Kids on Display
Sometimes, parents & elders put their kids on Social Media Display - purely for Popularity. That's a strict No-No, especially, if you want your kids to have a good, healthy, and positive future.
Parents who put up their kids on the Social Media (unless they are professional child actors of evolved parents) are the worst parents on this planet. Keep your children below 18 AWAY from phones. They should NOT use phones / gadgets for entertainment for more than 30-40 minutes daily. They should be busy doing real, physical, creative activities and hobbies OR they should be scholars (if that's their inclination). And remember, for anything that you want your kids to be / do, you need to be their example / reference point.
Social Media Display Directly, Immediately, and Strongly damages the child's Self-esteem Parameters and Creative Skills. I hope it is clear by now that making Short Videos or Posting Selfies is NOT the real essence of creativity or confidence.
Parents should encourage kids to stay as offline as possible, and help them develop interest in as many physical, real activities as possible. That's how kids develop Cognitive and Creative abilities. I am also referring to Manifestational abilities here.
Once they get a good grip on life, and achieve something, they can use the Social Media as a tiny fragment of their successful lives.
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Emotional Manipulation by Social Media
According to a survey, 70% of the youth feel more ACCEPTED on Social Media than they do in-person.
Who is responsible for the lack of acceptance that youngsters feel? Their Bad Parenting, Bad Surroundings, or the Social Media? And is that just restricted to the youth? Or to every person on this planet?
I can understand a 15-year-old kid who may have lost his parents, who is probably Gay (or confused about his sexuality) and has no friends / relatives due to which he feels unaccepted, but today, every other kid / teenager seems to be feeling this way. This is what the Social Media apps bank on! 💰
a Meta's product was developed with the intention of Mass Deception!
I heard that line in a random YouTube video. You may also read this article on how Instagram gets worse with dark patterns lifted from TikTok (as of July 2022).
Here are some ways in which you trap yourself in the vicious cycle of Social Media manipulation:
a. Be Exciting All the Time
The Social Media Algorithms (including YouTube) no longer show your posts in the chronological order. They show posts in a manner that can keep Users hooked to their products. So, if someone is following two thousand people, posts that the algorithm thinks are more exciting / stimulating receive a higher ranking, and that's what's shown first (or, basically, shown!). I hope you can understand how easy it is to manipulate the Minds of Young, Unemployed, Uneducated Emotional Indians. Other posts are either not shown at all, or are shown much later. This is harmful to a Creator, in that his one post receives 500 Likes / Reactions, and another (very similar) post receives 50 Likes / Reactions (and that tends to cause frustration)
💡 We are Social Beings. Where I was, once, appreciated by just 5-10 family members on achieving something in life, why wouldn't I want 500 people (whether they're closely connected or not) appreciating me? But when I do something and fetch 200 Reactions, and do something else and fetch only 20 Reactions, I tend to doubt my actions. I tend to think that I'm not doing something right. That keeps me engaged to the app, because I want to do something more stimulating / exciting the day after that! And that cycle is dangerous, because it takes you AWAY from yourself.
😥 I'll give you my real example: A post in which I'm sitting naked with a tripod (now deleted) has been boosted by the algorithm so much that it has received 600+ Likes and 11K+ Shares (first time ever!). Now, when I post pictures with clothes ON, the algorithm makes me feel that I'm doing something wrong! But you tell me - how many naked photos can I keep clicking? I was 39.5 years old when I posted that naked photo! I don't think I'll do that at 50 - I don't want people vomiting on their phones! 😂 [I deleted that photo, because Instagram was holding back those DM Shares, and releasing them as and how they wanted my account to grow. I wanted to take that away from them.] Few days later: I posted a nice photo of myself in full clothes sitting in my car in a brand new denim (blue) shirt. I think I looked super-cute in that moment (no, I'm not a narcissist). The post reached only so many people that it received 10 Likes - making me feel that something is wrong with me or that photo or that Instagram is deliberately harassing me, which caused me frustration! I didn't want that paranoia!!!
⚠ Why do Gay Men need to show their bodies or bulges in order to get popular, when Straight Men are spreading garbage and getting popular without any talent? Answer: Social Media is NOT really for talented people. I mean, that school-like hierarchy is not applicable here. If that becomes their focus, then the mediocre, non-talented people (which is the majority) will simply not use these products. That is why scholars, talented, or evolved people are kept behind, which is super-unfair, according to me. I think the audience should be able to choose who they want to see.
is something that I'm not happy about.
You get the point, don't you? The products are designed to keep your Mind engaged. If they can play with the Mind of a 40-year-old (me in 2022), imagine what it must be doing to those stupid, attention-seeking Gen Zs!
b. Post Regularly to Grow
There are plenty of "YouTube Gurus" or "Instagram Gurus" on YouTube who ask you to POST REGULARLY. That advice generates stress within you, especially if you're looking for Growth on these products! People stress over capturing YouTube-able / Instagrammable moments (instead of savoring them). And the stress is not about capturing it as much as the Thought of its performance once it's posted. Thus, they neither enjoy that moment nor there's guarantee about how their posts will perform. Now, there are people who are getting popular by doing the same things as you, but you end up in benchmarking with their numbers without realizing that they are that platform's Chosen Ones. I'm not talking about already established celebrities here.
as much as trying to find a 15-sec piece for your next REEL?
You need to enjoy those trips more than
stressing about capturing your moments
that actually nobody really cares about !
In order to keep you hooked, the algorithms have been designed in a way to give you varied amounts of Views / Likes for each upload, just so that you keep trying. The more you check your Analytics & Insights, the more you tell the product that engagement matters to you.
These products make you feel (YouTube the most) that you are missing an opportunity by not making a new upload. You keep trying and trying and trying... and burning out.
c. Stay 'Hooked On' and Follow Easy Trends
Another reason why people feel the need to stay 'hooked on' to these Apps is TRENDS. One donkey does something, and all other donkeys follow him / her and do the exact same thing. That's my definition of Trends. I'm being mean here, I know, and it's not that I don't / haven't followed Trends. It is fun, but I'm not someone who keeps stressing about Trends. I do what I like - besides, whenever I participate in Trends, my videos get so badly suppressed that they aren't even shown to my Followers 😁
Youngsters feel more important when they receive "lots of" Likes on their Photos and Videos, and there is no end to this. It's an endless loop of greed for something non-existent and temporary. That's the fodder for these Social Media Companies.
Has technology gripped our Minds so much that we feel accepted by something that doesn't even exist in real? I already told you that most of those Views / Likes are Extrapolated / Fake.
d. Changing the Course of your Life
This is where it gets a bit controversial or debatable.
These companies are powerful, because they are ubiquitous. They are so sneaky that they can - very subtly - change the course of your life, if they want to. THEY ALREADY ARE CHANGING THE BEHAVIOR OF GEN Z with the awareness that they are. It is NOT happening automatically or by fluke. Facebook kept an internal research secret for two years that suggests its Instagram app makes body image issues worse for teenage girls, according to a leak from the tech firm. [read more here] • Watch this REEL
So, it is not always about the manipulation of Views / Likes. I had already stated in the Law of Attraction article that many statements / one-liners / television shows / movies / songs / dialogs were (and are still) made by some evil-minded people in powerful / influential positions to manipulate people's thinking habits and modify their behavior. This is called Mass Manipulation, and Social Media Products are the easiest way to do that. Q: Why would someone do that? A: Simple. To continue to be in power, and to control masses for one's ultimate benefit. This has been happening for centuries.
You may have read about the Biometric Mirror system, in which a human being's traits such as Happiness, Ego, Kindness, Commonness, Attractiveness, etc. can be recognized and rated by just reading the person's face. While this is amazing, it is also concerning. This is such an easy way that the Social Media Products can be used by Powerful People fueling these products to emotionally manipulate masses.
Example-1:
Let's say that there is a high-level agenda to destroy a country's young population by exposing them to pornography or sexualized content or to make them want to crave for more, thus, leading to shortage consciousness (which is, obviously, not good for the country's future Mental / Financial Health), it can be done very easily by using these products.
Example-2:
If, for example, they don't want Single Gay Men in a country to find Life Partners OR at least make it difficult for them, they can keep feeding you negative Beliefs about how difficult it is to find a Life Partner, OR there's no point in finding a Life Partner, OR they can make finding or reaching out to each other difficult. With Software, we cannot rule out the possibility of such things happening.
Example-3:
As soon as I turned 40, without me having searched anything specifically about age, I started seeing Chrome NEWS / posts about how your body begins to turn weak and old after 40. That's a classic example of manipulation. Now, yes, it's up to you whether to take it positively or negatively, but imagine such content being subtly shown to you when you're vulnerable in a moment.
e. Parasocial Connections
Do you know that the Artificial Intelligence technology has advanced so much that you can CREATE a false human influencer online? Pick someone's eyes, someone's nose, someone's chin, and morph it together to make a human being that does not even exist in the real world.
AI programs called generative adversarial networks, or GANs, can learn to create fake images that are less and less distinguishable from real images, by pitting two neural networks against each other [read more here].
This works both ways. There are Instagram accounts that I have personally seen that had photoshopped images of a person who didn't even exist. One example account is: sammarbainss He / They blocked all my Instagram accounts the day I commented "Photoshopped" on one of the photos. Excellent way to fool people.
At the same time, your followers could be unreal as well. Do you really think that those 30 Million+ followers on your favorite TikToker's Instagram account are real human beings? How do you know that all those people who saw your story are real people? And even if they are, how can you know - for sure - that they really saw your story? Even if they did, did they see it fully? Or enjoy it? And even if they did, how does it matter? That's a separate discussion altogether.
📃 Google found that 70% of teenagers reported stronger relationships and engagement with YouTube celebrities than traditional celebrities; not only that, but 40% of teenagers reported that they believed that their favourite YouTube content creator understood them more than their real-life friends (O’Neil-Hart & Blumenstein, 2016). These relationships are known as 'parasocial relationships' and are actively cultivated by the creator through the appearance of authenticity and accessibility, however manufactured that appearance of authenticity might be (Ellis, 2018).
There was, recently, a news in the Times of India, that said that a teenager filed a complaint against YouTube (Google India) for distracting him with sexual ads. He demanded compensation. The Supreme Court dismissed his plea calling it atrocious, frivolous and a wastage of their time. I think - while, on one hand, the SC is absolutely correct, when they say that nobody is forcing him to watch the content or use the product, I also think that they are, essentially, saying that there are no regulatory bodies to govern what kind of content is being shown to masses. [TOI article]
Therefore, we need to STOP being under such 'bad' people's capricious malevolence, and use our own brains 🧠
f. Recommendation Systems
Demographics of a country often reflects on the Social Media products. For example, if a country has more 30+ aged people, your YouTube Analytics / Instagram Insights would accordingly show the Age Graph of your audience.
However, the problem is these products DECIDING what to show the youngsters. YouTube says that they recommend those videos to the audience that they think might SATISFY the Viewers. By satisfaction they mean - MAKE THAT VIEWER KEEP COMING BACK TO THE PRODUCT (they've said this transparently).
However, when you, as the product, 'recommend' only violent, sexually suggestive, derogatory language, roasting, or degraded content to the youngsters (thinking that that's what will satisfy them) that's what keeps getting fed into their brains as 'normal'. You, as the product, are not taking any responsibility at your end. If you 'recommend' them positive, elevated, and achievements-related content, that's what gets fed into their brains. Now, even though you may see both good and bad content being popular on certain platforms, bad is more popular than good. This is true for all these platforms! TikTok is, at least, openly evil 😂
The reason behind NOT recommending good, spiritually elevating content - I think - is that a spiritually elevating / elevated souls would not open / use these Products as often as a frustrated, confused, sad, lonely, negative person.
⛔ I'm not a YouTube or Instagram (or even TikTok) Hater. I'm not a Hater. I just find the way these products work very very manipulative, unfair, and not equal opportunity, and this is not a day's observation. I've been creating Content for years. Why would I have very encouraging or appreciative things to say about YouTube or Instagram while they're busy suppressing my content?
Humility? For suppressing my Content? Sorry!
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Compulsive Phone Use & Sedentary Behavior
Smartphones have boosted user-generated content, however, there seems to be no regulation or limit on that. Everyone is deserpately trying to become a celebrity! This never-ending, unquenchable thirst to reach a goal, to show your creativity, to prove your worthiness in the world is, in fact, burning us out faster than we would want. These products bank on these exact insecure tendencies.
How many times you go and check your Content Performance? How many times do you go and check others' Content? How many times do you check your Phone throughout the day?
(which is almost equal to the time spent on Social Media)
is indirectly proportional to your Happiness.
REASON? Your Mind remains scattered, distracted, and unfocused
when you're using these Products.
And an unfocused Mind is not a Happy Mind.
📃 Researches have proven that a focused Mind is a Happier and a more Creative Mind.
I heard a funny term "No-Mo-Phobia" from someone's talk, which is severely present in almost everyone today. Ask yourself, "Can I stay away from my mobile phone 📱 for more than 30 minutes?" ❓
Some products like Facebook and Instagram have confessed that they show Notifications late (calling it 'replication / synch' delays), so that users keep coming back to the products regularly. I myself, once, observed that my photo already had someone's LIKE, but the notification was shown an hour later.
When you spend more time sitting at one place, and less time doing physical activities, your body adopts to your Habits & Behavior, and becomes less active every day. This not only develops laziness, but also leads to physical ailments 🤒
spend an hour gymming, and building a body,
but would not pick up their used glass of water
and keep it back in the kitchen.
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Social Comparison
Social psychologist Leon Festinger developed social comparison theory in the 1950s. According to him, Social Comparison is a natural mechanism for the development of self-perception 📃
What I have observed (and personally experienced too) is that we always tend to compare those aspects of others that are lacking in us.
For example, when you see a cute young guy whose friend is drawing pick-up lines on him for fun [in this REEL],
- if you don't have a job, you subconsciously think that he must be so well-settled.
- if you're not good-looking, you subconsciously think that he's so good-looking, and can attract anyone easily.
- if you're a sad Single, you subconsciously think that he can find a partner so much more easily.
You don't just think about him, but yourself in comparison to him.
⚠ That's not just bad. It's dangerous. You can never look at someone else and feel better about yourself - whether they're better than you or worse!
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Over-consumption of Entertainment
Entertainment is a form of activity that holds the attention and interest of an audience or gives pleasure and delight (as defined by Wikipedia).
With advancement in technology in the second half of the 20th Century, it became easy to deliver and distribute entertainment across the globe, through radio, television, computers, Internet, mobile phones, and a variety of other devices.
However, entertainment is supposed to be merely a refreshing activity for us. It is supposed to consume only a fraction of our day's time - may be an hour at the most. However, with the ease of access, we are now constantly, mindlessly, and endlessly consuming it (via Mobile Phones). Negative rumination cyclically unearths new anxieties and fears and it leads to unnecessary comparisons with random people, leading to frustration and chronic negative thinking.
Positive emotions, including humor, contribute to a sense of well-being and health. Video gaming can be beneficial for brain development and functioning [src]. This is part of Applied Entertainment, where the individual consciously indulges in such activities for self-improvement or rejuvenation. However, there needs to be a limit to that. YOU are the Creator of your life. You can MAKE yourself Happy by consuming some correct forms of material, however, you cannot KEEP yourself consistently Happy (or Happy-enough) for long. Beyond a point, you need to take charge of your own self.
the more often you tend to feel bored.
Social Media or Video Games or Movies are addictive, because they are not soul-satisfying. Besides, they are highly manipulative, and can damage you emotionally by cementing Undesired Beliefs and making you think Thoughts that you would've not, otherwise, preferred.
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Vulgarity By & For the Youth
Social Media apps are businesses. They want Downloads. They want you to keep the App Open for as long as possible. They would do ANYTHING to make money. Thanks, to the Laws that put restrictions in place, otherwise, this world already be destroyed because of the Social Media.
Take an example - Many people have complained that Apps like TikTok do not ban / censor vulgar content. It is, in fact, boosted. It is my observation as well that a vulgar / sexually suggestive video posted at a specific time gets 100x more Views than an artistic video posted at the exact same time. That's what the majority of the youth is, naturally, attracted to.
Here's an example of a video that is not removed despite it obviously being sexually suggestive, and being reported: https://vm.tiktok.com/JeWXP67/ Since the app is (thankfully) banned from India, there is no way for me to confirm this now.
You are the Creator of Your Life. SEX is as vulgar as you make it, and it is as pure as you make it. It can be depicted using a beautiful, artistic and sweet manner OR it can be depicted in a vulgar, pornographic, and unethical manner. Needless to say what's shoved more onto your "For You" page. These apps don't care. All they want is - attention, views, downloads, and usage.
Obviously, when vulgarity is boosted by an Application, youngsters adopt the same behavior, and start defining to themselves their self-worth based on how much they think their bodies are sexually attractive. Self-Worth gets tied to Sexual-Worth.
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Reduced Focus In / On Life
These days, young boys and girls can't even hold a conversation. They're glued to their Mobile Phones so much that nothing else seems more interesting or important to them. I've experienced this personally at Shopping Malls too. Staff is busy watching their phones and not attending to Customers.
This is the primary reason why I called TikTok a Cancer - not because they suppressed my good dances 😂
Certain "Quick Fame" apps are so addictive that you (as a Creator) want to be on them every now and then - either to check your Notifications, or to check your Social Media Status, or to watch others' content. No matter what you may be doing, a part of your Mind is always pre-occupied with TikTok / REELS - about what to Create next, and what better to do to garner more LIKES and popularity.
by simply using one finger to swipe up for endless content,
why would you want to spend more time
on something else that requires more effort?
💡 Attention span is the amount of time spent concentrating on a task before becoming distracted. On an average, the attention span of teenagers is up to 10 minutes. Short video applications have a direct impact on the reduction of Attention spans in individuals. Teenagers are the most vulnerable. Not that grown-ups are not.
As I've spoken about in one of my videos, I'd been to the Goa Gay Tour in January 2020, when I was seeing a couple of guys CONSTANTLY scrolling through TikTok's For You page - right from waking up in the morning, to going to bed, while eating, while talking. They were hardly doing anything else. I was super-shocked to witness that level of addiction.
The Social Media creates a lot of noise in your Mind.
A noisy Mind cannot manifest properly.
This is how Social Media destroys your Life.
Products like TikTok / REELS / Shorts are like drugs. Once you start using them, it is almost impossible to get out - especially if you're young / someone with a low self-esteem. It just keeps sucking you in. This PERMANENTLY reduces your ability to be self-aware, and then getting out of the loop becomes more difficult by each day.
You should see the craze that youngsters have for many Fake (Social Media) Celebrities (also known as Micro Celebrities). If that's what the inspiration is... the quality of the future world is questionable. They aren't focusing on Careers / Jobs / their Financial Status / their achievements / skills. All they want is Popularity.
📃 According to UNICEF, 1 in 7 Indians aged 15 to 24 years feel depressed. Depression is linked to lack of self-esteem, poor concentration and other maladaptive symptoms, and can lead to difficulties in communication, failure to work or study productively, amplified risk of substance use and abuse, as well as suicidal thoughts.
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Avoiding Companions / Phubbing
Everything is about people! You CANNOT do away with people, no matter how private, sheltered or secluded you want your life to be. In fact, the Social Media is made in order for us to connect with People only. However, we tend to have completely wronged in the way we do it all.
Repeated from the section on Parasocial Connections:
📃 Google found that 70% of teenagers reported stronger relationships and engagement with YouTube celebrities than traditional celebrities; not only that, but 40% of teenagers reported that they believed that their favourite YouTube content creator understood them more than their real-life friends (O’Neil-Hart & Blumenstein, 2016). These relationships are known as 'parasocial relationships' and are actively cultivated by the creator through the appearance of authenticity and accessibility, however manufactured that appearance of authenticity might be (Ellis, 2018).
If you're more interested in connecting with people online than offline, you're heading in a very different direction. It's not about right / wrong. It's just not a satisfying lifestyle.
💡 Phone snubbing or Phubbing is an act of ignoring one's companion(s) in order to pay attention to one's phone or other mobile device. Studies have shown that it is linked to 'neuroticism', a personality trait (in psychology and development) in which a person considers the world as distressing, threatening, and unsafe. Such people prefer sticking their nose in the mobile phone, instead of interacting with those around.
I've often seen kids or teenagers phubbing to avoid those around. I've also seen staff members in shopping stores / malls who are more interested in their phones than their customers. This is not restricted to kids or teenagers though. People who are even slightly depressed or socially anxious tend to be more addicted to their smartphones. Then, they may be part of (probably even administering) many WhatsApp Groups. Remember, it's virtual and passive.
You go to a Party / Get Together, and everyone is on their phones. Why not organize virtual parties, instead? 😂 Now, phones have cameras, these days, so taking them out as mere cameras is acceptable. Otherwise, not. I've personally seen this in Gay Tours as well. Even though I move around vlogging using my phone, I interact a lot with others at the same time.
🧠 This is why I, personally, avoid using my mobile phone when meeting with someone, having my own dinner, or when around my family / relatives.
People are overly sensitive to their Notifications. They simply don't know that it's okay to not touch your phone when there's a Notification. They wouldn't even care about the person sitting opposite to them.
Phubbing is not only rude, but it is also taking us away from the essence of being in this world. Yes, nobody is going anywhere. Nobody will die if you look into your mobile phone for 10 seconds, but you need to choose how to conduct yourself. It all comes down to that.
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Negative, Violent, Harmful Content
Negativity was always present in this world. However, the Social Media has aggravated it by giving every single person an opportunity to consume and / or express it.
As mentioned in several articles online, these private companies are funded by bigger organizations to steer human minds in specific directions. While businesses are businesses, I understand, but you can just go and create something positive - it won't get the reach as much as a Negative / Badly influencing Content. The goals seems to be to, "keep them (the public) confused".
📃 A survey found that at their most malign, creators are intentionally making violent, disturbing content designed to slip past the YouTube Kids filter; these kinds of content have been present on the YouTube Kids platform since its launch in 2015 (Alexander, 2017). Read more here.
You should see the amount of hatred that humans spew on Twitter, YouTube, Instagram (incl. REELS), TikTok, etc. and I'm not just talking about the Common Man. Many Celebrities have become quite negative as well, just because there's an avenue to vent life's frustration out. We forget that venting out negativity does NOT reduce it from within. It, in fact, gets practiced, and thus, gets stronger within. This includes intense Homophobia and Toxic Masculinity too.
💡 A 21-year-old was arguing with me, and trying to explain how CH*T*YA is NOT an abusive / offensive word. He went to the extent to say that people in Delhi don't take it offensively, but those in Pune do. Another 22-year-old guy said to me that B*TCH is NOT a 'gaali'. Youngsters have started using the F-word very casually. REELS already have MC and BC being openly used in their so-called "comedy" videos. Very soon they'll start saying that MC / BC are not cuss words! I understand Comedy, but you don't need abuses. It is a choice, at the end of the day, as to the kind of person you want to become.
no matter the context / intent. It should not be used.
By hating others - forget everything else - you are, essentially, feeding your low self-esteem, instead of focusing on correcting your inner flaws. That's why I feel grateful for not having Social Media during my teens. I would've not been the person that I am today.
Youth's minds are getting rewired to emphasize more on "looking cool", or "looking sexy", rather than "trying to become a good human being", because that's what the Social Media boosts on their "discover" pages.
All that I wonder is - where did we vent out our frustration when the Social Media was not there!? Where did we provide negative feedback when Google Maps Contributions were not there?
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Unfairness / Discrimination / Bias
This is a very subtle, and important point to be understood. These Products are Businesses. They're NOT services as such. They may be free for you, but their primary focus is to Earn Money / Make Profit.
Their primary intention is not to Discover Talent, or Promote Artists. They have their Chosen Ones (often, their own known connections through Contacts or Agencies or those who may be in Bollywood's vicinity) who they promote. While there's nothing wrong with that, they suppress good talent, based on a wide array of Unfair Parameters. ("Unfair" according to whom? That's a separate discussion. 😊 )
Just imagine that I open a Gifts Shoppee. What items will I display on the exterior shelf? Good Quality items or items that will attract more customers to my Shop?
⚠ I, for example, have had my videos Shadowbanned & Blocked (by TikTok India). The worst day was (11th November, 2019) when I was banned from entering Madhuri Dixit's #EkDoTeenChallenge the day after she joined TikTok. They did not let that video reach Madhuri Dixit (& her team) by simply putting it indefinitely Under Review. I will never forget that day! They have subtly harrassed me. It's not just me. People within and outside of India have complained that Good Videos / Talent is not promoted on TikTok. Need Proof? All that you have to do is watch the videos that come on your For You Page.
Instagram REELS is the new TikTok - even worse. I've danced to the 'Chandra' song at least 5-6 times, but that video was never shown to Amruta Khanvilkar. She has commented on almost every person's Chandra dance, except mine.
You can get to know an app's maturity level by the type of videos that you see going viral on it. None of them are Equal Opportunity Platforms. I count YouTube in this Unfair List as well. However, here's a reason why I consider YouTube to be a little fairer than other platforms: Video Discovery Tips and How YouTube works
If you think I am the only one spewing hatred on Instagram, just visit Adam Mosseri's (Instagram CEO) profile, and see the Comment Section on most of his posts, and you'll realize how dark a comment section can get. People are blaming him for killing Instagram and asking him to resign, like as if it is his sole fault. Look whose side I'm taking 😛
All I would say is that you HAVE TO pay the penance for your Unfair, Discriminatory actions.
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Sexual Promiscuity among Gay men
You thought that only Grindr and Blued are Gay Dating Platforms? Instagram outperforms them all. There is a MASSIVE user base of 'men attracted to men' on Instagram. I believe 60% of Instagram's profits are fueled by these 'Gay' men only! It's a good thing that homosexuals are part of an abundance flow.
🍆 Don't take my word for it. Create a new Instagram Profile as a 20-year-old male, and search 'Gay xxx' (where xxx is your city's name or a big city nearby) and follow 10-12 accounts. Within 2 days you will have a hundred followers asking for your nudes or your 'Likes In Bed'. Tried and tested by me! There are guys jerking off on Instagram LIVEs, sometimes in Groups.
The major problem here is that Instagram is VERY EASY to use. To chat. To audio / video call someone. To share videos, photos, and do everything more seamlessly than Grindr or Blued. That's what makes it a much reliable and a user-friendly Gay Dating Platform.
And guess what, this DOES NOT go against Instagram's Community Guidelines! In fact, all this is thriving on the product. I'm still not talking about the actually sexually suggestive content / sex videos that are - per my strong belief - arguably "purposefully" kept by the product even after reporting. They say, "Due to a high volume of users, we cannot review your report."
Result? Obvious, isn't it? This leads to sexual promiscuity at a much faster pace among young Gay boys, who would rather jerk off OR meet for purely sexual encounters. It is a natural tendency to look for and do things that are easily available and achievable, isn't it?
The guys who you can chat with (virtually) are endless in number, and that just keeps you hooked up in that mode.
This is spoiling the Gay culture (especially in our country [India] where things are not yet fully normalized).
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Constant Exposure to Unsolicited Content
Human Beings are already wandering. There is already a lot of confusion and lack of clarity and focus.
Above and beyond that, when you watch random, unrelated people doing negative things that you'd probably never do (or never want to do), you bring into your Energy those Beliefs, and draw those kinds of circumstances into your life, by the virtue of the Law of Attraction - whether or not you believe in the Law of Attraction.
🧠 For this exact reason I stopped watching garbage shows like Bigg Boss, Roadies, Splitsvilla after the first few seasons! Such shows amplify, glorify, and justify negativity and foul language.
Unsolicited Information (mostly garbage) is available at Fingertips these days. Information Overdose in Abundance. Pushed onto your face. You don't need to much effort to "swipe up" using one finger, and - when you keep doing that endlessly - you get distracted from your own Goals and Achievements in life. When you also see someone doing something that you don't necessarily like, you begin to question your own life very subconsciously.
💡 Simple example: Being aware that there are Happy Same-sex Couples in India is good, but - as a 40-year-old Single, for example (or worse, as a 20-year-old Single) - constantly coming across their videos kissing each other or celebrating Valentine's Day may keep you stuck in life - stuck either in a sad mode or in a rebellious mode or in a mode of non-trying - THIS IS DEEP.
People showing their good sides / moments is a good thing, but when you compare that with your own day-to-day bland life, you start self-sabotaging, and that's where the damage begins. You tend to forget that that's not how their day-to-day lives are as well.
Forget about "them" - You get to LEARN A LOT from the Social Media (about places to go to, about the things that you can do, etc.), but that is all that you need to know. That much is enough. Scrolling bottomless pits, and constantly coming across new faces and new desires is over-consumption of information, and that can cause a Mental Blast.
makes you believe less in your own self-worth and well-being.
You don't want to waste years of your life, and then realize that you did.
If you'd like to get in touch or discuss about this, feel free to book a 1:1 Interaction.
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